I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
