Will you blow on my dice?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
And then the night went full on bisexual.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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