She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
