Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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