I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
