is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
just found out that she named her cat after me.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
