Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
