I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
