Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize