How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
