I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize