I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
