I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
