is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
