Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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