You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
