It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
