Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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