so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
