Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
