Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
