now i know why i became what i already was.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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