I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
