It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
