Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
