so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
