Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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