very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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