I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
