is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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