I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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