Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
