ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
