Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
North Korea, Best Korea!
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Its about making memories worth repressing
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize