Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
