This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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