Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
