i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
