me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
