can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
