I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
