this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
