Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
