U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
