singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
