I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
