You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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