dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I think your dad took our porno
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
They have beer where we have blood.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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