I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
