I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
