Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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