Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
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