i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
