The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
