Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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