oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Randomize
