I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
