apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
