Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
