You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I smell stomach acid.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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