And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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