'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
