I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
You're like the curious george of whores
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize