well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
