your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
