dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
