Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
