apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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