Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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