if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Randomize
