I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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