I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
