Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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