I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
