so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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