What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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