ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
