I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
